Untitled '05

Feeling the weight of your breath on my chest

I gasp in search of another ounce of life.

Why do you rob me of my pleasure

Why do you rape me of my pain

Why must you swallow all my passion

And always leave me in the rain

I take back what I said

I know it was wrong

Fuck your stupid ass dreams

And screw all those dumb ass songs

Claw your way out of that hole

And wreak havoc on the world

Simmer down with the devil

And watch your destiny unfurl

Give me back what has always been mine

Let go of that shit you lock deep down inside

Ride your way to somewhere

Anywhere but here

Suffocate yourself with greatness

And allow me to steer



Blood will boil

Night will fall

Change will vanish

And rekindle us all

Fly with the big boys and dance in the sun

Play in my reality

And make me the one

Bark up my tree

Lie in my bed

Fell the wet inside me

And drink what heaven said

Suck from my pride box

Let it fill your mind

Because it’s all we’ve lived for

And what makes this world so blind



Copyright Erin S. Sartain 2005

Free write '05

The freedom of knowing whatever flows through my pen is mine. Its in my space. This space I’ve craved for so long now. I allow my heart to speak freely for the first time. Exploring all those words I’ve locked away. God I can’t wait to share all the life, all the nonsense, all the best of what my life has become, and all that each moment ahead has to offer. I’m ready for greatness. I’m ready to explore who I’ve always wanted to be. Dance around this world with unabashed joy and love and exuberance. I want to be known, for my best and worst qualities, and be cherished for every ounce of it.. Most importantly… I want to know that I made a difference. Even if small – in everyones life that I come in contact with. Never give up on my differences. My differences are som of the things I love the most about me. Keep ‘em guessing. Wear ugly pants. Rock the blue chick shoes. Rock the great hair. Open up to love.

Perfect spot

Truth is what swims in my soul

It’s the purity it bares

Of all the years of my life

All the sweetness in its hands

Oh love, I ask

To breathe my sea

And feel the shade

That cools under my tree

Let me know

Who we can be

I’ve never doubted

One single moment

In letting my love

Set free



Chasing all I’ve ever wanted

With a dragon on my back

Holding on with hope of steel

And living off the track

The worth

The feel

The undaunting fate

Driving

Crying

For the only sake

Each breath I take

I give half to you

And hope the aura

With all its power give life to your

Beating heart

In mind to see

Countless moons

I grow further each day

The sun to rise

And bring your face

As perfect

And like faries

Can’t fathom that it is real

The smell

The sweet sweet smell

Of your perfect spot

Reminds me

Inspires me

Drives me

To the flavor that

Exists as

The eternal apple.


ES '05

Welcome Home

6/17/05



She finally made it

She’s finally free

To be that person

They all refused to see

With no more shadows

And no more pain

And no more wondering

Should she have to be the same



Welcome Home

It’s been awhile

The doors unlocked

As it’s always been

Your hearts on the table

Having a grand old feast

Of all the things

You’ve craved to be



The chairs are filled

Of the memories past

The platters served

By her futures cast

Never again to hunger for pride

For the gourmet life

Is at her side



Welcome home

It’s been too long

The doors unlocked

The key, long gone

Your hearts on the table

Having a grand old feast

Of all the things

You’d hoped you’d be



No grace to be said

For she prayed everyday

That the ache in her soul

Would soon find its way

Out of the hunger and turn into pride

And forever feeling content

With the someone by her side



The fence too high

The dog was out

Her broken heart

Had every doubt

She saw that light

It never went away

She can’t be afraid

To go home someday

All these things

She’ll never have to hear

It’s all so vivid

And finally so clear



Welcome home

And never to leave

No doors ever close

No love unreceived

There’s always more chairs

In this feast to come

For you’ll always be

Welcome home



copyright erin s. sartain 2005

At What Point

At what point do the lines of insanity and the lines of obsurdity cross

At what point does the facade of ones troubles become the clairty you crave

At what point does the world stop looking at your shadows and start basking in your glow

At what point does your heart understand the truth your soul seeks

At what point does your skin become immune to the touch of demons

At what point does the love consume your weaknesses

At what point do your eyes need no light to see life right in front of you

At what point does the tide carry you to a lucid stillness

At what point do your dreams break your silences

At what point does the fight become the success


Erin Sartain 4/3/06

Things I have a tendency to do...

I tend to wear crazy pants... just because I can.
I tend to make up silly songs and speak in voices... just because I'm good at it.
I tend to follow the rules... and I say its because I'm a mother.
I tend to eat things I shouldn't, really fast... so I don't have to share.
I tend to sleep very still and in a small space... to not to wake the beast.
I tend to buy or pour a cup of coffee... and then not drink it.
I tend to use a lot of post-it notes... so random information sticks with me.
I tend to clap in the car... because it makes me feel good.
I tend to listen to one cd incessantly... right now it's Jason Mraz.
I tend to enjoy eating microwave popcorn at night... because its my favorite snack.
I tend to zone out a lot... and I think its because I'm taking it all in.
I tend to forget peoples names... but I never ever forget a face.
I tend to procrastinate little easy things... and I know its dumb.
I tend to chew and pick at my fingernails... and I hate it more than anything.
I tend to laugh at childish silly things... because laughter never hurts.
I tend to keep the most random of things... to symbolize a happy memory of my past.
I tend to thank my lucky stars... for the beautiful woman in my life.
I tend to sneeze... more than 7 times in a row.
I tend to clear my throat... and sound like a machine gun.
I tend to hug my kids... every chance I get.
I tend to love... and love big.

Inspired by Jamie...

for reminding me how much I love writing and that it doesn't make sense that I don't do this. So here shall all the random, and some not so random thoughts, be allowed to escape my brain.

Cheers!